


What Remains is Here to Stay

by TheBravePrincessPure



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Endgame Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, One Shot, Protective Bellamy Blake, Seizures, Sickfic, Worried Bellamy Blake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 08:17:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19826161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBravePrincessPure/pseuds/TheBravePrincessPure
Summary: A suggestion from @bellarkestories on tumblr:The 3 times Bellamy was there when Clarke had a seizure + the 1 he wasn't.Inspired by the latest episode when Bellamy wipes the blood from Jo!Clarke's nose. Basically, Clarke doesn't stop having seizures even after Josephine's chip is removed.





	What Remains is Here to Stay

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all!
> 
> Here's a new one shot for you all. I ran into major writer's block with my last fic (hence no last chapter update) but here's a one shot to keep you entertained!
> 
> Remember to leave kudos and comments!
> 
> Also, all credit for this idea/prompt goes to @bellarkestories on tumblr.

Bellamy stood over Clarke’s eerily still body, watching her chest rise and fall steadily. It was a relief to know that she was able to survive without the chip, but they would only know the extent of the damage when she woke up from the sedatives. Bellamy grew increasingly more worried as time passed, tapping his thumbs idly against the sides of his cargo pockets.

“You said she would wake up by now,” Bellamy grumbled, glancing over at Gabriel, his eyes narrowing.

Gabriel scoffed as he wiped his hands with a cloth. “It’s not an exact science, Bellamy. Her brain was damaged. I made an educated guess, but the damage must be more than we anticipated. Be patient.”

Bellamy let out a harsh breath and sat down on a nearby chair, his elbows resting on his knees to keep him upright. He was exhausted, after walking the whole forest with Josephine to find the Children of Gabriel, then being taken hostage by them, and then having to convince Gabriel to remove the chip; not to mention finding his sister with Gabriel, and Diyoza supposedly in a giant portal anomaly. A lot was weighing on his mind.

He just wanted Clarke to wake up.

A small moan came from the bed, and Bellamy’s head snapped up. Clarke’s face was contorted into a grimace, her eyes squeezed shut. Bellamy stood, reaching down to move her hair out of her face. “Clarke? Clarke, can you hear me?”

Another moan, this time softer, came as her head tilted to the side. “Bellamy?” she mumbled, her eyes still squeezed shut.

Bellamy let out a sigh of relief and he reached for her hand. The sound of her voice lifted a weight from his chest, made it easier to breathe. It was her voice, not Josephine’s imitation. Josephine’s had been light, higher, more… nasally. Clarke’s voice was rough, low, steady. It was really her. “Yeah, I’m right here Clarke. Can you open your eyes for me?”

“My head hurts,” Clarke mumbled, reaching her free hand up to place over her eyes. What Bellamy would give to see her crystal blue eyes right now, knowing it was her looking at him, not Josephine.

“We’ve got a doctor here to look at you, Clarke,” Bellamy murmured soothingly, making sure to keep his voice low in case volume made her headache worse. He glanced over at Gabriel, who was keeping a polite distance. “But he needs to look in your eyes, make sure you’re okay.”

Clarke groaned and removed her hand from her face, opening her eyes slowly. Her gaze met Bellamy’s, and the corner of her mouth pulled up a bit. It wasn’t quite a smile, but it was something.

Bellamy smiled in return. “Hey princess.”

Clarke opened her mouth to say something else, but suddenly her eyes rolled back in her head and the hand Bellamy was holding clenched onto his tightly. Her whole body started convulsing, causing the bed below her to shake.

“Gabriel!” Bellamy shouted, quickly snapping into action and rolling her onto her side. His heart was pounding as he watched black blood drip out of her nose.

_Not again. Please, not again_.

Gabriel appeared next to him, shifting Clarke’s lower arm up above her head. “Make sure she stays on her side,” he commanded, reaching over to grab a rag. “We only start worrying if this lasts for more than a few minutes.”

“A few minutes?” Bellamy asked, his voice strained. The seizures before had never lasted more than a minute, but each time he felt like they lasted for hours. Watching Clarke’s body convulse felt like he was closer and closer to losing her. Josephine had said that the longer the chip stayed in, the worse the damage got. If these seizures were a result of brain damage, each one was a sign that Clarke was hurt and needed his help. And there was nothing he could do.

Gabriel nodded, wiping the blood from Clarke’s upper lip. Bellamy could still feel the dried blood on his sleeve from wiping it earlier. “She’s made it this far. It’s clear that she’s a fighter. She’ll get through this,” Gabriel said, although it sounded hollow. Bellamy wasn’t sure if it was the truth, or just meant to keep him calm. Either way, it did little to settle his nerves.

Clarke’s seizure lasted a minute and forty-two seconds. The whole time, Bellamy stood by her side, making sure if she needed him, he was there. His whole body was tense, on edge, his muscles tight and unyielding. Seeing her like this felt like torture. There was nothing he could do for her but wait until it was over and soothe her as she came to.

Her body eventually stilled, her breathing irregular but steadying by the moment. Bellamy stroked her hair as Gabriel checked her vitals. She seemed out of it at first, dazed and incoherent. But after a minute, she locked eyes with Bellamy.

“You’re okay, Clarke. I’m right here,” he murmured, his thumb stroking over her cheek.

Clarke nodded, her eyes drifting closed. “Safe. I’m safe.”

-

“Are you okay?”

“For the last time, Bellamy, I’m fine. Stop asking,” Clarke grumbled, wiping the sweat from her brow and plopping down on the mattress.

They had just come back to the Gabriel’s room he very graciously let them borrow as Clarke recovered and they figured out how to retrieve their people from Sanctum. Gabriel had just ran some tests on Clarke, checking her physicality and strength to make sure her nerves were responding to her brain properly…. Or something like that. Bellamy hadn’t really listened to what he was saying, his attention focused on Clarke the whole time; making sure he was close enough to catch her if she fell, or to steady her if she lost her balance.

Bellamy sighed and sat beside her, running both hands through his hair. “Sorry. I’m just…”

“Overbearing?” Clarke concluded, raising an eyebrow at him with a smirk pulling at her lips.

Bellamy huffed out a laugh, shaking his head. After a moment, he pursed his lips, trying to decide his next words carefully. “Worried. I just got you back, Clarke. I can’t risk losing you again.”

Clarke shook her head this time, resting a hand on Bellamy’s knee. “You aren’t going to lose me, Bellamy. Haven’t I proven that enough? I don’t go down easy,” she murmured, meeting his gaze with a reserved smile.

He smirked and rolled his eyes, placing his hand on top of hers. “You know what I mean. Gabriel said these seizures are caused by the damage Josephine did to you. Even though she’s gone… she could still hurt you.”

“And I told you, we just have to be more cautious now. That doesn’t mean hovering over me, it just means that we need to plan things out differently,” Clarke said quietly, averting her gaze to the floor. “Like how we’re going to rescue our people.”

Bellamy sighed, letting himself fall back against the bed. He stared up at the ceiling, contemplating their options. “You can’t go back, Clarke. It’s too dangerous. They’ll blame you for getting rid of Josephine.”

Clarke groaned, wiping a hand over her face. “Bellamy, you’re not going back alone. We talked about this.”

“Who else am I supposed to bring?”

“How about your sister?”

Bellamy froze. “Clarke…”

Clarke interrupted. “No, Bellamy. I don’t care about what she’s done right now. We need her and you know it,” she said firmly, glancing down at him on the bed.

“We need Gabriel, not Octavia. If he can convince his followers to fight with us, we might have a chance,” Bellamy countered. There was no way he was going back to Sanctum with Clarke, and bringing Octavia instead was too risky. Octavia was a loose cannon, too unpredictable. Besides, they needed more manpower to get their people out of Sanctum.

“We can’t ask him to do that, Bellamy! These are _our_ people, not his. You were lucky enough that he agreed to take out the chip,” Clarke fired back, standing up from the bed and going over to Bellamy’s jacket that was draped over the back of a chair. She started to rummage through the pockets. “He won’t risk his people for ours. Not after destroying Josephine’s chip. Russell is almost guaranteed to retaliate, so Gabriel has risked enough.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes, sitting up and resting his elbows on his knees. “He might if that meant stopping the Primes.” Bellamy paused, tilting his head to the side as he watched her. “What are you looking for?”

“Your notebook. Where is it? I want to write something down,” she mumbled, switching to a different pocket.

“Inside pocket, left side.”

Clarke pulled out the notebook and a pen, flipping through the pages to get to a fresh one. She paused at a page, her gaze flickering over the writing. She looked up at Bellamy, her expression a little stunned. “You saw it.”

Bellamy’s brows pulled together in confusion. “Saw what?”

“My message. The morse code,” Clarke said quietly, showing him the page.

Bellamy nodded, the corners of his mouth pulling up in a small smile. “Thanks for that, by the way.”

Clarke smiled for just a second before her face contorted. Suddenly she dropped to the ground, her knees giving out as her body started to convulse.

Bellamy wasn’t fast enough to catch her. She was too many steps away, too far for his arms to reach her. The sick thud her body made had his stomach churning, his chest clenching and cutting off his air. “Clarke!” he choked out as he reached her, falling beside her and helping her onto her side. “It’s okay, I’ve got you. You’re okay,” he murmured, brushing the hair away from her face and trying to ignore the way his heart pounded in his own ears.

It was a short seizure, over in less than a minute. As soon as her body stilled, Bellamy gathered her in his arms and picked her up, carrying her over to the bed. She groaned as he placed her down. “You okay?”

Clarke shook her head, which made Bellamy start to panic; but she cut off his thoughts when she spoke. “I told you, stop asking me that,” she mumbled, a small smirk on her dazed face.

-

A day had passed, and he had only stepped out for a moment, just long enough to grab their food from the fire Gabriel had made. He had only had a short conversation with Gabriel, something about the nearby berries and which were ripe enough to eat. He hadn’t been gone for more than a minute.

But when Bellamy returned to inside the hut, Clarke was seizing, her whole body shaking, her teeth audibly chattering together. She was flat on her back on the bed, her arm hanging over the edge, her twitching fingers grazing the floor. Bellamy dropped the plates he was holding, sending them clattering to the floor, their food long forgotten. When he rushed over to her, he heard the most awful noise, a strangled gurgle coming from Clarke’s throat. She was choking.

“Gabriel!” Bellamy screamed as he turned Clarke onto her side. When her head rolled to the side, he saw the black blood drip out of her nose and roll down her cheek. Without a second thought, he wiped it away before it reached her hair. The thought of black blood staining Clarke’s golden hair made his chest ache. He heard the door shut behind Gabriel, and looked up to see the doctor rushing over.

Gabriel knelt next to Clarke’s head, which was tucked into her chest as she spasmed, and tilted it upwards to open up her airways. Instantly, Clarke’s breathing sounded better, less gargled and rough. Gabriel got up, walking over to where Bellamy dropped the plates and began cleaning. Bellamy could tell he was still listening in, waiting for Clarke to stop seizing.

Clarke’s seizure lasted for just over a minute, but she was unconscious for another minute before beginning to stir. When she opened her eyes, she looked at Bellamy, and he noted the confusion in her expression.

“You’re safe. You had another seizure,” he murmured, soothingly stroking her hair away from her face.

Clarke took a moment to respond, but then she nodded slowly. She reached up to wipe at the residual blood under her nose, carelessly wiping her dirty fingers on her pants. “I felt weird after you left. I should have called you back in. I’m sorry.”

Bellamy sighed and shook his head. “Next time, okay? Right now you just need to rest.” He glanced back at Gabriel, who was finishing up cleaning the food. “I dropped our dinner,” he admitted, looking back at Clarke, guilt written on his face.

Clarke smirked, rolling onto her back with a heavy exhale. “It’s okay. I think I lost my appetite.”

Bellamy’s brows drew together in worry, but he pushed down the feeling. Gabriel noted that Clarke might feel nauseous for a while after her seizures. However, she hadn’t eaten much since the chip was removed, which sat in the nagging part of Bellamy’s brain. He couldn’t help but think about Clarke’s health, mentally and physically.

They hadn’t talked about her experience with Josephine in her head. Clarke always changed the subject, or provided an excuse. However, the silence was deafening. Bellamy could feel the tension beneath the surface every time he brought it up. It was like pressure was building, and soon it would be too much for either of them to handle. Bellamy felt like he _had_ to know how Clarke was dealing with it, and Clarke needed to vent before she exploded. It was only a matter of time.

“Hello? Earth to Bellamy.”

Bellamy blinked, looking down at Clarke. It seemed like she was trying to get his attention for a while, but he hadn’t heard her. Too lost in his own thoughts, he supposed. “Sorry. Just thinking.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I know. Can you sit with me for a while? I just… I don’t think I’m ready to be alone yet.”

Bellamy nodded, perching on the edge of the bed next to Clarke. “I understand. I’ll stay as long as you need me.”

-

Bellamy held on tightly to the straps holding him to his seat. Raven was flying them away from Sanctum; or, he supposed, whatever remained of their feuding society. They had caused enough upheaval within the group to give those who disagreed with the Primes an excuse to rise up. Some of the Primes were gone… Russell being one of them. The others were being held by the rest of Sanctum to await their fates, whatever they may be. In the meantime, their people were leaving the city, allowing Sanctum to figure out peace on their own. The Children of Gabriel had promised their people asylum until everything could be sorted.

There hadn’t been too many casualties. Jordan was still trying to recover from taking Madi’s blade to his stomach, but Abby said he was healing and showing no signs of infection. Bellamy had a few scrapes and cuts himself, and his bad leg was throbbing. Miller was sporting a pretty deep gash on his face, but Jackson was monitoring him. Overall, a rather successful rescue mission. No deaths… on their side at least.

“Over there,” Gabriel shouted over the roar of the engines, pointing out the window to their spot to land. Raven nodded, programming it into the control panel. The feeling of decent had everyone bracing themselves, especially as they experienced some turbulence right before hitting the ground.

The trek back to Gabriel’s hut was far longer than Bellamy had hoped for. He still wasn’t entirely familiar with the territory, so he hadn’t been accurate with the time he had estimated from their landing site. In reality, he was just eager to get back to Clarke. Her seizures had grown less frequent, but it still concerned him to leave her alone like they did. She insisted that Octavia go with them instead of staying to watch over her; it ended up being a good call, seeing that Octavia was able to sneak around and had no fear of being caught. Still, Bellamy found himself nervously fiddling with the straps of his pack.

Abby fell into stride with him, her eyes focused on the ground as they walked. “You said she’s okay, right? No memory loss, no serious brain damage?”

Bellamy nodded, swerving slightly to avoid a tree. “I mean, other than the seizures, nothing is really detectable. Sometimes she’ll be confused right after an episode, almost like she’s trying to put together her thoughts. But other than that, she’s been fine.”

Abby sighed, her shoulders slouching in relief. “Thank you. For saving her… Again.”

“It seems to be a full time job,” Bellamy said with a smirk. His expression shifted, and he tightened his grip on his pack straps. “But in all seriousness… there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. After everything we’ve been through…” he trailed off with a shrug.

Abby looked up at him with a small smile. “She would do the same for you.”

It took them thirty more minutes of walking to finally reach the compound, the light of the two suns setting over the mountainous horizon. They had been gone for nearly two days, with travel and the upheaval of Sanctum combined. Bellamy dropped his pack in front of Gabriel’s hut, giving the door a gentle knock, in case Clarke was sleeping. He opened the door, and heard the sound of porcelain scraping across the floor.

Bellamy’s eyes drifted downwards, taking in the shards of ceramic littering the floor. His brow furrowed as his gaze shifted towards the remainder of the bowl, held loosely by Clarke’s hand. His mind struggled to process Clarke’s still body on the floor, slumped in a pile. Black blood covered her lips and chin, clearly dried and crusted. The slow rise and fall of her chest was the only thing that brought some relief to Bellamy’s spinning thoughts.

“Gabriel! Abby! Jackson!” he called, falling to his knees next to Clarke’s form, ignoring the sharp pain of kneeling on sharp pottery. He gently gathered her into his arms, careful to support her head. “Clarke, come on. Wake up for me. You gotta wake up now,” he murmured anxiously, brushing some hair away from her face. The ends of her golden waves were crusted in black, clearly from the mess dripping from her nose. He gave her cheek a gentle rub. “Clarke?”

Clarke moaned softly as Jackson and Gabriel arrived behind Bellamy, Abby not far behind. Clarke buried her face into Bellamy’s shoulder, and Bellamy let out a sigh of relief. She was responsive. Her hand found its way to Bellamy’s chest, resting softly against his shirt. “I’m fine, Bellamy,” Clarke mumbled, her speech slow and soft.

Gabriel knelt in front of Bellamy and grabbed Clarke’s wrist to take her pulse. His face was focused for a moment before he spoke. “Her pulse is normal. The seizure must have happened a while ago,” he murmured.

Bellamy nodded, catching a glimpse of the dried blood on Clarke’s cheek. “Can someone get a wet rag for her face?” he asked, shifting his hold on her, hoping to make them both more comfortable. “Clarke, can I see your face please? I’ve got a question for you.”

Clarke let out a sigh and looked up at him, her eyes half-lidded. “Okay. I’m listening.”

“Can you just tell me what happened?” Bellamy asked, his gaze flickering to Gabriel as he whispered something to Jackson.

Clarke’s brow pulled together, her face scrunching in confusion. Her recall of memories was getting better, but it still wasn’t easy to see her struggle. “I ate the berries Gabriel left, the purple ones. And when I got up to clean the bowl, I dropped it. The sound was so loud, it instantly gave me a headache. I think I started to clean up the pieces… but I don’t remember anything after that.”

Bellamy nodded. He looked up as a hand extended to him, holding a wet rag. He met Jacksons gaze and nodded in appreciation, taking the rag and offering it to Clarke. “You want to do it?”

Clarke nodded, sitting up slightly and taking the rag from his hand. She wiped at the dried blood, wincing as it irritated her skin. When she couldn’t feel any of the stiff dryness anymore, she looked up at Bellamy. “Did I get it all?”

Bellamy hummed, taking the rag from her. “Yeah. You need help to get up? I think there are some people who want to see you.”

Clarke’s eyes lit up and she looked at the door, noticing some of her people lingering by the doorway, no doubt drawn by this commotion. “Everyone’s here?” She didn’t want to ask if they lost anyone, but needed to know if they did.

“We’re all here,” Bellamy murmured, but then he sighed. “Well, almost everyone. Kane… he didn’t make it.”

Clarke’s brow furrowed once more. “What happened?”

Bellamy looked back at Abby, who was talking with Jackson in the doorway. “He stopped the Primes from making more nightbloods. Sacrificed himself for it.”

Clarke was silent for a moment, no doubt processing Bellamy’s words. After a moment, she nodded, looking down at her hands that were settled in her lap. “May we meet again.”

Bellamy echoed her words, then stood up from his spot. His knees protested, especially after being subjected to shards of porcelain, but he held his hand out to Clarke. When she stood, he kept hold of her hand. “Hey Clarke?”

Clarke looked up at him, tilting her head slightly to the side. “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you,” Bellamy murmured. There was so much more he wanted to say, but he felt like this was the least he could do. “You know, with your seizure. You shouldn’t have been alone.”

Clarke pursed her lips, tightening his grip on his hand. “Our people needed you.”

Bellamy’s gaze dropped, and he stared at their feet. Her hand felt so small and warm in his. “You needed me too.”

Clarke gave him a small smile, tilting her head down to catch his gaze. “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. You did the right thing.”

Bellamy met her eyes, staring for a long while before letting out a sigh. He gave her hand a tug, stepping towards the doorway. “Come on. We have a lot of work to do.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
